Acts of Random Kindness

I read something recently that said if you did acts of random kindness on a regular basis, you will have a physiological change in your brain that makes you happier and less stressed. It's amazing, yet seems so simple. If everyone were nicer to each other, everyone would be happier.

A few days ago, we got a letter in the mail. It was addressed to an Eileen, whom we did not know. However, the address seemed to be our house. My mom mentions that perhaps the lady who used to live at our house over 20 some odd years ago was named Eileen. I figured if that were true, then maybe we can open up the envelope to see if we could figure out how to get it to the right place. I wanted to steam it open, but I was told to just open it.

Upon opening it, I find a birthday card for a sister, with some money tucked into it. The wave of guilt immediately washed over me. I look at the return address label, and used the name and address to look up the lady that sent it. Turns out, it was a 96 year old lady. That guilt just turned into a tsunami.

But in this hyperconnected day in age, I knew just what to do. Since I already had more information than I needed, I was able to look up the lady's phone number. I gave her a call, and she was a very sweet lady. I explained what happened, and she went to look up the actual address. Turns out, instead of a 0, it was supposed to be a 5. The elderly lady did write a 5, but it was written in such a way that it really looked like a 0. She asked for my name, and thanked me, and was chuckling for the better part of the call. I suppose a part of me wanted to call her also to just have a nice chat with her. I then promptly walked the birthday card over. The sister's husband answered and was also incredibly grateful. I asked him to wish his wife a happy birthday.

This all took maybe 15 minutes. 15 minutes, and I got to make 4 (including me) people incredibly happy. It's a good feeling.

And Then It Was Second Semester

Man, I was doing so well posting at something that at least kind of resembled intervals. Then winter break happened. Well, first thing's first, Happy New Year!

Now that's out of the way, on with the blog post!

So what have I been up to? Well, after a horrendous first semester for my second year for multiple reasons, I decided to take a slightly lighter load this semester. Lighter only in the unit load sense. Classes are just as tough. Second semester physics [E&M], more calculus (sigh), organic chemistry, and philosophy (random, it's a breadth requirement, but it's actually my favorite class this semester). Oh, and this for fun DeCal class called PreMed 101. It's basically like a seminar class where we have speakers ranging from people in the application process to attendings come in and talk to [read: inspire] us. I'm taking a break from taiko as well, but it's allowed me to focus on work a little more and check out a filmmaking club on campus.

I finally watched SHERLOCK by the BBC, which is absolutely amazing and I highly recommend it. All caps for emphasis 'cause it's that good. I also finally got around to watching most of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I wanted to watch it because it's just one of those huge pop culture references, and I remember watching bits of it as a kid when my older brother would flip through channels and whatnot. I never understood it at the time since I wasn't the right age, but I kind of get why it was so popular now. Still, I haven't managed to get through the last season... It kind of got... not so great. Oh, and (lots of TV) I finally got around to watching Firefly as well, which led to me being almost caught up with Castle. Nathan Fillion, man. That guy. And the one thing I just gotta get out there for Firefly other than the usual "Fox is stupid for screwing it over" is "WAASHHH!!!! WHY!?!?!?" And that is a reference to the movie that came out of Firefly. Oh yeah, and Firefly has also re-awoken my love for dinosaurs. As evidenced by this photo:

Random purchase of the month: Dino plushes

Yup, that's right. I got me some awesome dinosaur plushes. What do you mean by "re-awoken" you ask (I don't care if you didn't actually think this, this is my excuse for a segue)? The first job I ever wanted to do before all this medical stuff was paleontology, or as my 3-4 year old self would put it, "a fossil finder!" I later learned the actual word for that, and was one of those kids that tried memorizing a bunch of dinosaur names and learning facts and stuff... Can't remember any of them now though. Fun fact, there are fossils in our clock tower, the Campanile. Our paleontology department uses it for storage.

What else have I been doing. Right, I started doing papercraft again. I made a Guy Fawkes mask a while back in November. I stumbled across a Pokemon papercraft website that has a fantastic amount of papercrafts. I've made Slakoth:

And a Jigglypuff:

And I've got a Teddiursa in the works. It's currently just a head with its limbs scattered about around it, which is a bit unsettling as it is this cheerful looking teddy bear head that's just sitting there. But I'll finish it over the weekend hopefully. Gotta finish my work first. Darn you school. Infringing on my papercraft time. :P

Anyway, the aforementioned unfinished work is calling. I suppose I've taken a long enough break. I'll come back tomorrow and write about this awesome speaker that came in last week for my PreMed DeCal. That class was pretty cool.

A Small Gesture

I'm sitting here in the university's dining hall. They're hosting a study hall through the night, offering free drinks (coffee and the like) to help students study for finals.

I've had four finals already, and my last one's in about five and half hours. It's getting hard for me to concentrate, as I've had little to no sleep in the past few days, and constantly taxing my brain with calculus, oceanography terms, geography concepts, and the bane of all medical students: ochem. I'm sitting here, at 2:35 in the morning, trying as hard as I can to concentrate on studying for physics. But my mind keeps wandering, and I keep thinking about getting on that plane home. Less than 17 hours before I get home. So you see, my brain's beginning to wander.

I tried to kick myself back onto the studying path. I got up, refueled my cup of joe, and went back to scrolling through MIT's opencourseware physics notes. And a small, insignificant, seemingly meaningless memory surfaced...

A couple years ago, around this time, while I was still in high school, studying for some block of exams (may have been midterms, finals, or AP testing, I don't quite remember), my mom knocked on my door, late into the night when she'd usually be sleeping already, and came in with a hot cup of freshly brewed coffee. Told me to try and finish studying sooner so I could get some sleep, wished me luck, and went back to bed. I don't think I ever thanked her for that.

So this is just to say, when was the last time you took the time to thank someone close, be it family or friends? For all the little things they do. And when was the last time you performed a small, random act of kindness? The world could always use a little more kindness to go around. Especially this time of year. :)

There Comes a Time

I just finished watching last week's episode of Bones. And it spoke volumes. At least, to me.

To those who know me well, you know my situation, my relationship with a certain individual in my family. And to those who don't know me, you will easily be able to figure out what this relationship is like if you've seen the aforementioned episode.

A Father's Day card from Booth his father kept

A key part of last week's episode was how one of the main characters, FBI Agent Seeley Booth, dealt with the death of his estranged father. Throughout the episode, Booth pushes away everyone who tries to comfort him on his loss, announcing he doesn't want to talk about it, his father wasn't exactly there for much of his life, etc. Among the people he pushes away is his grandfather, whom he calls "Pops" and is the person who raised Booth. Pops was relenting at first, but eventually said to Booth something along the lines of, "How do you think I feel about this? He's my son! You don't think I don't feel guilty about the way he turned out?" Then towards the end of the episode, Pops reads a letter addressed to him from Booth's father. It was the usual lines that you see and hear in these kind of story lines about how he was sorry, and that his sons deserved better, but then Pops gave Booth a small wooden box, which Booth at first dismissed. At the very end, Brennan (Booth's girlfriend and main character of the show) convinces Booth to open the box. For the good memories. And inside contained some of Booth's fondest childhood memories, among them, memories from the one "perfect day" he had with his father.

One of the photos in the box.

 I couldn't help but relate. I am extremely angry at my own father about what he's done. I resent him, and I have a hatred for him inside me that nobody should have for a parent. Anytime things relating to the subject are brought up, my mom tries to convince me that he is still, after all, my father; much like how Pops and Brennan try to talk Booth out of despising his father so much. That I should try not to feel that way, that I should remember from before shit happened. But it's hard. It's so incredibly difficult. But those last two scenes I described above, the ones these images depict... I have pictures like those. I have experiences and memories like those shown that are so easily forgettable in light of what's been done. And it made me think once again, how will I react when the day comes? I keep telling myself that I won't care, that he's hurt us, my mother, brothers and me, too much. But things like this throw in a pang of guilt, a twinge of doubt. Well I guess I'll know for certain sooner or later. A bit morbid for a kid to be thinking huh?

Booth's "perfect day" with his late father.

I realize that people may say that I'm overanalyzing or that it's just a TV show, but I don't think I am. You see, that's the great thing about TV shows, or just art in general (yes, it is an art). The thing about art, be it a photo, video, music, novel, etc, is just how many people it can touch. It's a blank canvas where real people can tell a real story. A photo might be edited to make you focus on something. A song might be auto-tuned or have some other kind of filter overlaid on the track. A novel might be fiction. And a video may be dramatized. But at the end of the day, all these works tell a story, and they're the result of the very real relationships of very real human beings. They're about common experiences we all share. And that's what makes them so great. That's what makes art a universal aspect of the human race. That's why I love film, television, video-making, etc. so much.

A photo with meaning much likes ones I know we have, hidden away somewhere.

They are truly a testament to the human experience. No matter where you are in the world, no matter what you may be feeling right now, you know that you are not alone.

College Bike Rental Idea

On my recent trip to London, I noticed the bike rental system they had going on there. Some of you may know what I'm talking about. The nice grey bikes with the Barclay's logos on them? I'm not exactly sure how the rental process worked, but I saw plenty of "stations" so to speak around the city, and more than just a few people using them.

Towards the beginning of this semester, I was walking up the main large hill on our campus (which I have to trek up nearly every day). Depending on what classes I have that day, I decide whether or not I will ride my bike to school. I like riding bikes, but not so much to my current classes. You see, I have a single speed bike. Not only that, I have a fixed gear bike. It's not exactly fun to ride up that hill. And only a few of the building up there even have bike racks for me to lock up my bike. And the ones that do, only have a few. So I had a thought. What if we implement a bike rental system on our campus (and all other campuses for that matter. I'm sure UC Davis kids would love it)? A lot of kids want to bring their bike to school, but unless you live within driving distance, it's not really feasible. Bikes aren't exactly cheap, so it's not as easy to just throw down a couple hundred bucks to buy a new one. And even if you do bring your bike, if you've got a track bike or something, it's not exactly useful for a campus like Cal, with all its potholes and hills. So why not provide them?

This is how it would work. There would be a fleet of mountain bikes that any student can rent. Bike lock stations would be strategically placed throughout the school (along with normal bike racks). We already have ID cards that work as keycards. Granted, you have to apply for them, but they get approved pretty easily. But in this system, you don't have to apply for them, it comes included in your tuition, just like our Alameda County bus passes. Yes, some people do complain that they don't use the bus, and they don't like that they are forced to pay 60-some dollars as part of their tuition. But my thought is... it's your loss. The service is provided there for you. The cost for us to get semesterly bus passes is extremely low and good value. Why wouldn't you use it? Anyway, back to the idea. Each student would be charged a comparatively small fee (especially compared to buying a brand new bike), and their ID cards would work as their rental card. Each bike station would have one of those sensors, similar to the ones used for meal points, or key card access. Or even mass transit system cards (Bay Area's Clipper, UK's Oyster, etc). Since each ID card is unique, the system can easily track who's card was used to unlock a bike from one of the stations. You would be allotted a certain amount of time (let's say a full 24 hours) before you have to return the bike to any station around campus. Once you replace the bike and swipe your card again, the system recognizes you've returned the bike within the alloted time (kind of like how parking structures work), and you're fine. You can check out another bike if you need to. If you don't meet the deadline, there'd be a fee for every hour your late or something like that, and if you don't return the bike after a certain amount of time, then it's assumed you lost or stole the bike, and your account (at my school, all students have what is essentially an university billing account) will be charged the full amount of what the bike costed, let's say $250.

With this system, students wouldn't have to worry about trying to stuff their bike into their trunk, or getting it mailed. I was certainly pining away from my bike until I was able to bring it up. And if you don't have the best type of bike to get around campus, that's alright, because they'll be provided. And a pretty big selling point? It creates revenue for the school! Thousands of students being charged a small amount for the bike rental system sure adds up. And with that, creates more jobs. You'll have to have at some people doing general maintenance on the bikes and the stations. Plus, you'll need someone to go around and make sure each station has close to the same number of bikes at the end of the day. Too bad this'll probably be expensive to implement right now, with schools not having enough money for classes even. But once it get implemented, it would help. I just wish I knew who I could submit this idea to.

When Did You Last See Your Father?

"And when did you last see your father? Was it when they burned the coffin? Put the lid on? When he exhaled his last breath? When he sat up and said something? When he last recognized you? When he last smiled? When did you last see your father? The last time he was healthy, active? The last time he had an argument about something? Those weeks in which we tried to say goodbye were like a series of depletions. Each day I thought 'He can't get less like himself than this.' Yet each day he did. So I've been trying to recall the last time I actually saw him. The last time he was unmistakenly... there. In the fulness of being, I don't know... him."


I finally got around to watching When Did You Last See Your Father? last night, starring Jim Broadbent and Colin Firth. It was decent enough, but the underlying message is what was most important about the film. 


The title had caught my attention because for those who know me, they know it's certainly one of those questions that's hard for me to answer. While it may be a simple question to others, to me, my brothers, and probably my mother too, it's a very loaded question. When did I last see my father?
The film was based on the true story of writer Blake Morrison and his troubled relationship with his father. His reflection upon the relationship was sparked by the sudden diagnosis that his father was terminally ill with some type of colon/intestinal cancer. The entire film, we see adult Blake reminiscing, while assisting his mother with taking care of his increasingly ill and bewildered father. We see he's conflicted, and seems to be trying to hide it with an emotionless facade. During all this, flashbacks to Blake's childhood and teenage years are shown. We see Blake's father having romantic (though saying sexual is speculation) relations with another women, and his mother just dealing with it. We see his father as a man who likes to cheat the system, at least a little, in every which way. He's a loud man, while his son is quiet and keeps to himself. We see his father seemingly always putting his son down for wanting to be a writer instead of a doctor. But at the end of it all, after his father finally gives in and succumbs to death, after his mother says her loving goodbye, after he's prepared for his funeral, and after he's been cremated; finally, finally we see the other side. Blake all of a sudden remembers his father in a different light, when he's leaving for university. His father worries, and hangs on longingly, not wanting him to go. He tell his son, he's proud of him, while trying, unsuccessfully, to choke back tears. We see teenaged Blake hug his dad, which turns into adult Blake remembering hugging his elderly dad, and finally, Blake realizes and finally cries out for his father. At the very end of the film, he narrates the above quote, and shows a memory of him installing a chandelier light for his father. His father continually belittles him and tells him he's doing it wrong. But the chandelier was installed correctly, and for a second, his dad was happy. But then onwards once again. And that was the last time he remembered seeing his father.


While it's not completely the same, I do draw some parallels to this film. And I kept on thinking I'd cry during the film. But in fact, my emotional reactions were quite the same as the main character's. Or at least, how Colin chose to portray him. My father, I guess, would be what most people would call an absentee father. I grew up with my two older brothers under the sole care of my mother. Occasionally we'd get a visit or a call from him, but I think if you added up the total amount of time I've actually spent with my father, it wouldn't even add up to a full year. More so my brothers than me, but it seems whatever we do just isn't enough for him. It seems he's never got praise for else, and we can never expect a "well done" from him. Furthermore, just like how Blake's father is portrayed in the film, he's not faithful; he's loud and obnoxious and crude. 


But when did I last see my father? Who is my father exactly? Is it the loving dad who would keep waving to us and crane his neck until he couldn't see us anymore whilst walking into the airport terminal? Is it the one where we were scared of when he got angry and really respected him? The ones from before these past ten or so years? Or is it the man we see now, the one we all despise so much. The one that's hurt us all so much and in so many ways. When did he change? Or did he change at all? Was he just masking it before? 


So when did I last see my father? The last time I physically saw him was January of this year. It wasn't a great visit. I was a bit cold towards him, but he was also flaunting his crap in our faces, trying to get a reaction from us. Before that? Summer of the previous year in Taiwan, him showing me off to his buddies, and either trying to make me happy, or just showing off how grand he is there. And before that? Not for over three years. But let's rewind further back. The last time I saw him like the way I saw him as a child... that had to be about 11 years ago, when he rushed back to America since my grandmother (mom's side) had just passed. The only memory I have of that is sitting in my 3rd grade class, knowing he was going to be at home when I got back from school. I remember running in from the garage and seeing him in his tweed jacket sitting at the kitchen table, looking at some notes or his phone or something of the sort. I remember running to him and jumping on him, so happy to see him. I think that was the last time I saw my father with unclouded eyes and an open heart.


So now I pose the question to you. When did you last see your father?

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A quick word on the passing of Mr. Steve Jobs.


Whether you were a fan of Apple products or not, Steve Jobs was a true innovator and an inspiration. His dedication to his work and the detail he put into not only the technology, but the design of the products, and even the design of the boxes they were packaged in, is something to model ourselves after. He revolutionized the world of personal computing, the music industry, and the world of animation (with Pixar). The world has lost a wonderful creative genius today, and he will be greatly missed.


Rest in peace Steve Jobs.


"No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever excaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.


Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary." -- Steve Jobs, Stanford 2005 Commencement Speech


Find the rest of the speech here: http://dft.ba/-stevejobs


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